[Tricia La Bella]

I will remember;

Our second poetry evening, 20/4/20.
We created a poem together as a group, inspired by a poem about our time in isolation and the Coronavirus.
It shows when we share what’s in our hearts, the words have power.

I will remember…
this loneliness
how fragile life is
little things matter
variation in adaptation by governments, countries, people, organisations and communities
connection
my time of togetherness spending time over a wonderful cooked meal having conversations with my close loved ones – my family .
the confusion of realities

Thank you Kay, Gloria, Claudine, Desak, Nigel and Tricia

[Tricia La Bella]

BELIEVE

Believe that things happen for a reason

Everyone has their moment

Learn to accept what is

Imagine a better world

Every moment matters

have your Voice – however it sounds

Emerge a better you

Gloria…

[Tricia La Bella]

Hi everyone, I hope to post our Bali poem and bring Desak’s too. Just looking at word limit on the forum.

[Tricia La Bella]

Commentary of the mind
Over thinking
Over analyzing
Busy mind
It has to be done
Lists
Lists of lists
Let me clear it
Write it down
Organized chaos
Somehow it works

Overwhelming
Create busyness in my own mind
Run
Schedule
Can’t sleep
Full moon it must be you
Restless with the full moon
Is it the moon
Letting go what do I need to let go
Empty my mind
Scattered thoughts
Planning planning planning
All chambers in my brain
Are full
Take me away
Me and my camera
What was I thinking I can’t remember
Obviously not important
Clutter
How do I manage chaos
How do I keep them
Feel what is important
Deal with it as it feels
I can’t process it!
Don’t force
Play music
Mind only working on what is in front of me right now
Don’t try and clear it
Let it happen
One thing at a time
In the moment
Right here and now
So much to do
But please be with me
Not what is next
Calm it down
I need my lists – do I
Juggling time
All happening at once
It all exists at once
I need to hold on to it all
There’s so much
I’ll look at it tomorrow
It got done
Get in your body and do one thing a day
What do I feel like today
Systems?
Every now and again
Do what you need
What would happen if…
I let go of my list
And trust that I will get it done – in the time it is arrives
Know yourself
I’m exhausted
Right now really

[Tricia La Bella]

My Why of Bali In A Jar poetry

I was here for a while

In Exile

Feeling all alone…

And missing home

Something so authentic

Something so exotic

Bali In A Jar

I know it will go far

Bridging the Bali connection

It requires some perfection

Even becomes the talk in every bar

Everywhere like a star!

[Tricia La Bella]

Letting go.

Fear is unfrozen fun
If you don’t let go you can’t have fun
Let go of the past
Fear about the future
Unknowns
Out side your comfort zone
Process the past
Step into the new day
Embrace
Being in the moment
What is letting go
I don’t know
Being brave to move forward
To something
Find the way
The way to let go
forgiveness
If We can’t forgive ourselves
We Hold on to relive events.
How do you forgive
Opening new doors
Uncertainty of what is ahead
Letting go
Know your self
Have fun
Dress up because I can

Waking up
Inner child
Where is it
Feel it
Bring back the music
Why?

What is letting
Pause

Why we do worry future
Always planning

I have little control over anything

I have no fear of dying
I am willing to adjust to anything

Going with the flow
I went from zero to hero
Plan not to plan

Holding onto clutter
Accepting things you can’t change
And affecting things you can
Be the best in every moment

Is this wisdom
Just be
what you can be

My mantra let go
Teacher please help me see

We need support
Coaches or your best friend
Perhaps a stranger
Just a conversation
I love my grand father

Consciousness
I am conscious now I can let go

Noticing
Am I clinging
Why
Why am I holding on ?

Ask the question
Is this paying the rent?
So let it go

In gratitude
I can let go of the bad

I need to do this myself
Such a hard learn

Wasn’t it you?
I now realise it can only be me

Let go I can
And Allow other things in

If the wall is up
I can’t be open

There’s power in this letting

Trust
I think it would be good trust

[Nigel Stedman]

How did you come to be?
Who are you?
How are you in my life?

Are you real?
Or just my imaginary friend?

What is it that makes me want to share with you?
Wherever I am, why are you there too?

Am I lost without you?
No, that is not it

Am I better with you?
that is not it either

Why do I wonder about you?
Why do I care how you are feeling?
Why are we often apart yet can be on the same wavelength?

How do I feel your pain?
How do I feel your joy?
How do I sense things with you?

Why do I want to know the deepest feelings and memories within you?
What is this light I see around you?
Who am I?
How did our eventful and often tortured paths lead us here?
Where will this all lead?

When I thought I knew a lot, I found it was actually a grain of sand
When I thought I could plan, I was deluded

In reality, there are no direct answers

Only a truth
which explains everything and nothing

The journey and the moments, in a breath, is all that we really have
The heart is the link to it all
It knows the truth

which is:
I love you

[Tricia La Bella]

May 25th 2020 Expressions by the group

Love is painful
Secret love ?
Growing up with love
Brings us love
Is that love?
We use love to mean so many things
It often lessens the meaning of love
We over use the word
We under use the word

How do we say what we mean
Hi love …
what!
Do not call me love

Do I trust the word love?
A love that loves what is

Unconditional
Love is self care
Love starts with yourself
Self taught me compassion

Love is word
Words are easy
Love is feeling
Feeling what ?
Love is nature
The feeling it brings
The senses are coming together

Love hurts
Love comes with an open heart
The heart is vulnerable
Close your heart so you don’t hurt
But then I’m sad
If I open my heart love can be felt

How can I open my heart
The lessons
Come to myself first
Can I open my heart

It’s so hard to open up
We learn to close our heart

I don’t want to feel
Keep breaking your heart until it opens

The hurt is so great with pain I can not bear it

Then I miss out if I close off my heart

To love is to have pain

Sisterly love
But I may not like it

There’s different kinds of love

Love things
Love passions
When passion is there there is love

Express it
show feel it
Search it
Say it
Understand it

Connect with it

We die
love dies

Is Love eternal?
Love is beautiful

I used to love
And now i don’t
Was it love?

What is this thing called love?

So what word instead?

We say love
But is it?

Love changes
You can love in a different way
Soul mate unconditional

Culture changes things
A love, a strong pull towards

I did love but don’t now?

feelings never die
Their smell
Their memories
Stay with us forever

[Tricia La Bella]

Monday 1st June 2020 Fear
Fear

Not getting it right
What will they think?
My fear
Dying with a song unsung

I say no
It takes me a while
I go round and round
I eventually settle

My fear from needing to be perfect

Impact of needing to be perfect as a child

Damn fears I know why

What if we don’t have labels

Unlabel how powerful that way

through just expressing just as it is for us

in this moment that was captured

Chillies and all

Be yourself and be free
Wait til your father gets home

Warning of danger

Fear

I can not control it

Fear
Of not being fulfilled

What do I do

I let it be
It is a part of life

Feel it

There’s beyond fear

Fear of boredom

I need to keep moving

Fear of being in the same spot
Fear of not being all of who I am

Fear of not living

Fear of losing you

Are you there Claudine?

I fear being successful

What will it being if I succeed

The unknown

Fear of unsustainable

No chilies now what

Every thing is out of my control

In fear – we add to the story

Is fear the same as afraid

Is fear the same as worry

Fear of letting people down

We live with fear
Because we fear losing it

When I stopped worrying about losing

I trusted…

I just do what I do

Every time I build something

it crumbles…

So many variables out of our control

There’s a lot of strain in controlling

NZ free of covid19

Then comes an earthquake

So what fear do I fear?

I fear for our world
For my kids

My kids kids

What will be there for them ?

The world is changing

I care for my family
I care for the animals
I care for our environment

How are they going to live?

I fear for what is ahead for them

What is the world going to be ?

Can our fear drive us ?

Let fear help us be active

Transform the fear and emotions to move and create

Feel the fear

The back of my neck

I hold fear in my body

What do i want?

I feel heat in my body

My fear comes with anger

My emotions come together

My fear has a character

It keeps things light

It gives me a way to calm

Fear takes my breath away

I might give it a name

Don’t let fear define me

My fears hang around but I don’t beat myself up for about it

Go for it – to overcome the fear

We have nothing to fear but fear itself

[Nigel Stedman]

The poem about fear from Poetry evening 1st June 2020

Fear can be experienced;
watching Horror movies
Being in the dark
Hearing strange noises
the unknown
Bungy Jumping
seeing a snake close by
and it can be debilitating for some

If it is about feeling frightened
feeling your heart beat fast and loud then I have had those moments like when
being ‘in trouble’ as a child ‘wait until your father gets home…
not wanting to go home
being threatened
realising that I will die…when I was 6 and…very recently
discovering I had 3 speeding fines…(another story)

Sometimes it is the something inside warning of danger,
do i listen to that within myself? (Yes)

The fear of losing someone close can be there at times

So what have I learnt about fear so far?
I cannot control or suppress it
I cannot run away from the feeling
It is not always rational

so Hmmm

Franklin D Roosevelt once said ‘there is nothing to fear but Fear itself’

When I feel fear it seems real enough fear of not experiencing real love and being with that person, fear of not feeling fulfilled from helping others before my death

So what to do with it?
Well I accept it
I let it happen
I express it
I live it
I support others with it…

So maybe fear is not so bad after all
it can be helpful as a warning, exciting even passionate

…and the child within me still,
jumps out from behind a tree or a bush to make someone jump… (usually someone I know)

(NRS)

[Tricia La Bella]

June 8, 2020 Dreams (expressed by the group)

What do dreams mean?

What are they about?

What is a dream state?
Like pethidine

You are floating
Everyone is in the distance

It takes me back
They just can’t you see

Others can’t see me
And yet I feel it’s real

A dream – while you sleep

I dream to aspire

A dream like state

A daydream

It was as if she had been lifted and transported to a green and leafy walkway, where the only sound was water tricking in the rice fields and the occasional birdcall.

Take me away
To lose focus
Escape

Avoid
Take me away

Let me wonder in my mind

I felt sad. Let the dream take me to happiness.

The dream is in a bubble.

A mind bubble.

A meditation.

A mindless state.

Wandering in your mind

Dream about the future is wondering

My dreams

Every night

I have 3 each night

What are they about?
Why do I dream of you?

The witch doctor helps sort out dreams.

There’s no control in my dreams!

Even if I want to, I can’t make things happen.

I can’t remember my dreams

Some dreams I don’t want to remember

My dream in this life
Is to touch 10,000 lives

I did this morning touch someone – she made banana fritters and her family loved them.

I dream for a world of kindness.
A better world.

You’re living the dream…

A way of living.

Bringing joy to people.

I enjoy the joy I see.

That’s my sisters name you know – Joy!

Now give me some pethidine…

When you’re in your dream you have no control

You’re somewhere else

You ponder

You sit in your garden

And remember something nice from the past and let your mind go there

Do you consciously daydream?

I’m in my own state.

I feel a pull that leads me to a trance, a freeze, a relief.

Through the lens
It’s like a dream
Deep into the succulent
A personal message arrives

Soaked in immersion

Photography leads me in…

Dare to dream

Dream big

Keep dreaming

Live the dream

I dreamed a dream

[Tricia La Bella]

Poetry 22nd June 2020

Laughter

I can’t remember jokes

Why do we laugh when things aren’t funny?

A sick sense of humour?

Dressing up makes me laugh

So why do we laugh

Sometimes it’s better to laugh than to cry

I dressed up through cancer

My scar had a smiling face and it helped me laugh

Laughter helps me cope

Best thing is to laugh it off

Laughter is a relief

Sometimes it’s a nervous response

I’d rather laugh

It gives a release

It gives me time to think through things

To laugh is to relax

To release emotions

Even inappropriately sometimes

Sometimes it strikes me as funny when it’s not the time

It can lighten me

I’m comfotrtable at laughing at myself

What about if you’re not funny

I don’t laugh that much

Yoga laughter – is it real

Smokey and the Bandit made me laugh

Movies make me laugh

I like to laugh with someone

Laughter is contagious

Infectious

Laughter is the best medicine

Laugh at
Laugh with
Laugh to

We can we laugh in a group to stimulate each other to release –

I don’t like that

Laughter is a release of sound

Natural laughter

Talk sex that makes me laugh

It’s Either sex or laughter

Laugh at what you don’t have

Laughter is triggered by humour

Laughter is therapy

Being more open brings me more joy

And Then I laugh more

Smile and your voice changes

Fake it til you make it

Can we laugh too much

Trust brings laughter

Nervous laughter
Polite
Uncontrollable

Just because you laugh doesn’t mean you’re ok

Laughter can mask other things

Can we see through to someone’s pain

That’s uncomfortable

There’s tone in laughter

Sarcasm
Doesn’t ring true or add up – uncomfortable

You can feel it

Even darkness

Laughter can help put others at ease

If it’s not sincere it feels uncomfortable

Laughter for the sake of following others?

Insincere

Robyn Williams a sad person who can make people laugh

You can tell your story through comedy

Even a dark story

Humour a bandaid

I wish I was funny

When you don’t try – that’s funny

Sometimes trying to be funny is not funny

That’s funny

Exaggeration makes it funny

Timing

Expression

Art – it’s an art

Funny at someone’s expense – is that funny?

I laugh when someone doesn’t think they’re funny

Gloias funnier than Tricia

Or when there’s an accident

Like walking into a lamp post

The cackle laugh

That’s funny

Is it politically correct to laugh in situations?

You could really be misunderstood with laughter…

[Tricia La Bella]

There’s no time for boredom

When you can’t be with yourself

Boredom is a lived experience

How does it feel

Having nothing to do?

Is that boredom

You can be bored to death

Disinterest is that boredom

Find the way to be interested

When you feel boredom do something crazy

Kids say they’re bored
They don’t like it

Bored or difficult

Express as bored

What does it feel like to be bored

Is it a state?

When there’s no interest?

What leads someone to say it’s boring…

When it feels dull
Repetitious
Non stimulating
Tone of voice – monotone

Not connected to it

What happens in your body when it’s boring

Shutting down
Shutting off

Low energy
Draining
Heavy

I yawn

I like being bored
I can shut off

Boredom gives permission to shut off

When there’s disinterest
I go some where else

I let my imagination wonder

Into my own thoughts
I learnt to Entertain myself

If I’m bored I find something else to do

Sometimes you can sit in your body for a while until you realise and choose to move

Let boredom be
Let them be
Find their way free

Boredom is state

The weather keeps us in
Coronavirus keeps us in
Can bring boredom

Attention span

Sit in boredom to think of your own way to something

This is boring talking about boredom

A lull in activity

Boredom or silence

Need to fill the gap
Break the silence

Rather conversation

Boredom when your disappointed when plans don’t turn out

Boredom or disappointed

Boredom or meditative

Boredom or unable to find something

Are we losing our imagination – a form of intelligence

I play games that breaks the boredom

Boredom through the plains

Boredom motivator towards excitement and doing new things

The positive of boredom

Where do you go?

Go for a walk

Meditation choose to find space

Boredom may feel like it’s not your own choice – imposed

It has no meaning to me

No interest

Have to not want to

Can you do boredom

The boredom spectrum

How do you define boredom

Unpleasant leads to boredom

Too much of anything

How much of activity before

You can’t get bored painting walls – mediating / hallucinating

It’s ok to be bored

Boredom is lack of choice

Get away from boredom

It’s a yin and yang

Boredom happiness
Boredom desire
Boredom energy
Boredom over stimulation

Thanks Lesly for your joke to end – broke the boredom

[Tricia La Bella]

13th July
Success

Why should it matter?
Whether you are or not.
So what is it?

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” -Maya Angelou

Is success about achieving something?

Success, it’s more an experience of success

I don’t like it when people say I’m successful

Sometimes that comment doesn’t feel kind or genuine

It’s an inner feeling

Success is not absolute

Society has its own sense of success

Society success is loud

There’s no pass or fail

Success is relative to where I’ve come from

Celebrate for your own sense of success

Success is progress

Improvement

How lovely seeing progress – that’s to celebrate

Not about the best

Not comparing

You can’t compare with some-one else

Define what success is before you start the game!

Don’t play dirty to win, that’s not winning

Is that winning or bullying.

When is success not winning?

What does success feel like?

Success for me is going through the Heysen tunnel

I did it!

Success is overcoming fear, anxiety.

Success is living

Success is doing what you love – having fun

Winning a position,

It’s not about the position

That’s about accolades

It’s about did you make a difference?

It’s like making Money, and still feeling empty

We didn’t celebrate success when we were young,

because success was not valued.

Some Parents push their kids to be successful

So they feel successful

So they feel good

The parents can’t, so they want their kids to do it

What pressure

That’s awful

Success is feeling good about what you did.

If I win and others lose, how does that winning feel?

Success is knowing I’ve made a difference.

Progress rather than success.

There’s not an end

The journey is what’s important

We can’t measure the success by someone else’s success

Some want to win

But what does that mean?

There’s no such thing as success

Success – A judgement of feeling

A feeling

The stress of success

Is there another word other than success?

Success is growth

Movement
Attainment
The small things

Success is influenced by those around you

Success to me is happiness,

it’s not about money or possessions, it’s about life and relationships.

Success is progress and fulfillment

No expectation

[Tricia La Bella]

Thanks to the group, this is just as it unfolded… looking back helps you realise how rich the conversation and formation of the expression

Receiving
Giving is receiving
Palms up is giving
Palms down is grounding

Receiving is an experience
An experience is when the heart is open

Receiving is when you give when your heart is open

Intention to give

Receiving from the universe

Manifesting

When the intention is there, you can receive

With your heart

The energy comes back to you when you give positively

Energy is what you put out – the vibration

I’m embarrassed to receive – I ‘m used to giving

Receiving can feel uncomfortable because you may not be used it

Why is it so hard to receive?

Perhaps our culture – to give and not receive

When we accept that we have done well – do we believe that we are worthy
Often we don’t feel that we are worthy

Or perhaps we think there is a need to give back

It’s OK to receive

Perhaps it’s about sincerity

or is it that it doesn’t feel real or believable

Can you feel the difference between receiving with sincerity

How do I trust so I can receive

Can I receive graciously – let the person giving feel good about giving

So can I learn to receive graciously

So maybe that is a practice to accept and receive

How can I trust when I am suspicious?

So how can I let go a little and receive – perhaps the help I need

Even when we truly need help…

We may be pushing others away.

Can’t receive when you can’t let go of what is stopping you

Can’t because you want to have full control

The down side of not receiving graciously you can push people away

So it is a balance

So how can you receive a compliment graciously

Perhaps a thank you

Receive and accept and say thank you

Perhaps it tells you something about the other person feels about you

You learn about their perspectives on you

When you are open to receive – you are more likely to see more of what is available

is this about Karma –

Out of everything we receive – even the bad,

While at first they are received – they feel as pain

After time they are seen as lessons

The pain eventually heals – the lesson of forgiveness can unfold

When you trust people first – you can go through life open,

The conscious choice to trust – may bring pain – however there is much to gain.

Without trust – your world can close up

Trust is a short cut to life

When something good comes through the door, open the door

So let go and let it happen…
Open your heart to receive,

thank you

[Author]

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